I've figured out what this feels like: The preparations you make, amidst utter terror, when you're in the path of a deadly natural disaster – and there's nothing you can do to stop it. You can only try to prepare, and survive, all the while realizing millions won't. And that you may be one of them.
When I went to sleep on Tuesday night, hours before the election was called, I believed I’d be waking up to a better world. How wrong I was.
I am so ashamed of and angry at my fellow white women, 53% of whom voted for TFG. How do they not understand that voting for a vindictive, fascist, racist, rapist conman will never keep them safe? His statement “I’ll protect the women … whether they like it or not” was the gloat of a predator who knows he can do whatever he wants, regardless of how it affects you. He, and the men who follow him, will treat women like pussies to be grabbed (Nick Fuentes’ vile taunt “Your Body. My Choice.” is already being lobbed with alarming frequency at women … and children), or bodies to be disposed of, like Amber Nicole Thurman, who was allowed to bleed out in a parking lot because doctors were afraid to give her necessary medical care due to TFG’s abortion bans.
Women aren’t the only recipients of horrifying threats…
Read moreI don’t usually write political posts. In fact, the only other time I’ve done so was during the Kavanaugh hearings. What we’re facing now is exponentially more dangerous.
Skim the bold key phrases to get the gist, and read the full details of the areas that are most important to you. Though, truly, it's all important – and includes some points that folks didn’t know or may have forgotten
Do you remember the Kavanaugh hearings? The hearings we now know were corrupted by the Trump White House, who had the FBI block all credible sexual misconduct accusations against Kavanaugh instead of investigating them. Do you remember the smirk on Kavanaugh’s face, the red flash of anger in his eyes as he tried to bluster and weasel his way out of the multiple accusations that he’d sexually assaulted Dr. Christine Blasey Ford and others during high school and college?
Do you remember the freezer trucks that had to act as morgues when Covid so overwhelmed the hospitals there was no other place to put the dead bodies? Do you remember when no one could get a Covid test, despite desperately needing one? We now know Trump sent them to Putin – not the swabs you have at home but the molecular testing machines that hospitals were in dire need of to rapidly detect infections. Sent to Putin, for his personal use. The same Putin that Trump has spoken to at least 7 times since leaving office – while still possessing classified materials that should never have left the White House.
Do you remember waking every morning with a knot in the pit of your stomach, terrified to learn what the unbridled, unhinged former president had done during the night, whether we were on the verge of World War III and annihilation? Do you want to go through that again – and worse? That’s what Trump (hereafter TFG: I refuse to call him by his name except when absolutely necessary) has promised if gets back in the White House…
Read moreHOLIDAYS CAN BE GREAT FUN. THEY CAN ALSO BE HELL. Expectations and obligations can turn what’s supposed to be a season of celebration into a nightmare. To help sustain you, here are some things I’ve learned the hard way. Apply as needed:
SET BOUNDARIES. Block off time during the day for yourself. No matter what’s on your schedule – cooking for a group of 30, finalizing the year-end recap or next year’s budget, wrangling a household of relatives with adorable but exhausting toddlers – find a few minutes for yourself: Turn off your phone while you take a bath. Sip a cup of tea – very slowly. Say “No” to the party you really don’t want to go to. Hide under the stairs and read a book. (Kidding. Sort of.) It’s crucial to replenish yourself, otherwise you’ll be miserable, overworked, underslept … and may end up so depleted you land in the hospital with pneumonia. Which would make nobody happy – except perhaps your nemesis, and that’s a holiday present you don’t want to give.
Special Note for people with families that won’t take “No” for an answer (even more crucial if your family is large):
Read moreMere days into 2021 and we’re trying to process … horror. On January 6th, the president of the United States incited a mob of domestic terrorists to storm the Capitol, with the intention of stopping the certification of Joe Biden’s election win … and worse.
If 2020 was the Year of Relentless Heartbreak, what will 2021 be? I’m hoping it will be the year of justice. The year of confronting our country’s white supremacist past and the ways that past — still horrifically part of our present — poisons our society. The year of making substantive changes to ensure our democracy survives, and thrives.
Lately, the only way I can get to sleep is with this breathing technique (preceded, on occasion, with a glass of bourbon, or a lorazepam). It’s easy to learn and it’s surprisingly soothing. Let me know if you find it helpful.
Read moreSince 2020 has become the Year of Relentless Heartbreak, I wanted to share a quick anxiety-reducing technique that helps keep my stress levels from going through the roof: Box Breathing. I hope it helps you too.
Self-care can make an enormous difference in being able to handle the recurring drumbeat of horrible news without disintegrating into a puddle of tears. I can’t count how many times I’ve used Box Breathing in the past few months – literally cannot tell you the number. It’s wonderfully grounding and calming.
Box Breathing (sometimes called Square Breathing because of its four equal sides) is done by athletes, yoga practitioners, health practitioners, soldiers and everyday people to keep themselves calm and focused. Want to learn how?
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